In the words of...me

It's that time of the year, it's the holiday season. The time where you get to see friends and family and be thankful that you have them in your life. I mean you should be thankful everyday, but for some reason we love our family more during the November/December month. Anyway that was just a random thought that I wanted to write. I also wondered to myself who actually took the time to sit here and read what the hell I am writing, honestly I don't think that I write anything exciting, just those random thoughts that I have in my head. Speaking if random thoughts I found myself a new favorite card game and it's called Skip-Bo, I now want my own deck for Christmas. Have I mentioned how excited I am about 2012. I really see myself changing, well that's the goal. I want to start looking at life a little differently, I need to make sure that I take care of me first. That is so much easier said than done though because I genuinely like helping people, we need to help each other out. Ok well I am just rambling now listening to Jason Mraz, I don't want to start getting emo...bye.

Life is a roller coaster...so enjoy the ride!

Well well well I tend to forget I have a blog to write in. Jeez what a month November was...have I mentioned how I can't wait for 2012, I'm convinced that 2012 is going to be my year, I mean it has to be right? It needs to be, 2010 and 2011 were so crappy that nothing but great things can happen for 2012. I'm excited for the new year...I plan on making more changes in my life. I don't want to mention what those changes are yet, but I need to make sure that I focus and meet my goals. I have so much that I want to do and plan, I definitely want to take a vacation in 2012, not just a driving kind of vacation, but a vacation that takes multiple hours on a plan and thousands of miles away from the San Fernando Valley. I want to get away, maybe somewhere tropical? I love where I'm at, but man I want to get away every once in a while...speaking of getting away...Becky moved with the kids last week. She bought a house and moved, I'm so proud of her and her accomplishments, I can't wait to see the house. Okay well I think I'm done writing in my diary. I'll think of updating more often.

I didn't sell out...I bought in.

It's been a while since I've blogged anything, I've just been trying to keep  myself occupied. I go out, have fun with my friends and I've even started talking to other guys again. I forget how one person can drag you down. No more going down for me, it's time to look at the bright side, no matter what. Sometimes I forget how simple life can be and I swear it's me who makes it complicated, I know I'm going to forget again how simple my life could be, but at least I remember that with life, just the fact that I made it another day is a blessing because there are so many other people in the world that doesn't have what I have and that is a loving and caring back up system. My family and friends always pick me up when I am down, support me when I'm feeling weak and remind me that I can do anything that I put my mind to and I just have to go for it. My family and friends helped make the strong person I am today and without them I would not be as independent as I am now. They help me realize that to make the change I want and need I need to start with myself, but it doesn't hurt to have a little help getting to the top. With that said I am so blessed to be where I am today and I am so grateful and thankful for all the greatness and wonderful people around me. Life is good. God is good. C'est la Vie!

Nice to meet you

So it's been about 8 years since I've actually dated, being with the same guy for almost 10 years can definitely cause a dating disability. I feel like a 16 year old trying to set up dates with people. I'm so lost and confused, do I pay? Do they pay? I mean goodness, times are so politically correct, I may be a woman, but I can afford my own darn meal. Anyway so I finally got to experience an outing last Saturday, I was nervous at first, but that ended really quick when I met the guy and the first thing he says to me is "I got us a blunt". It's as if this guy knew me and he knew that I was nervous and all I needed was some Mary Jane in my life. Anyway, we had a great time, I enjoyed his company and he even texted me later that evening about the good time he had as well and how we should do it again. Of course I said yes, I had a nice experience the first time why wouldn't I do that again. We were suppose to meet last night again, but our work schedules are so opposite and on top of that he lives 20 mins away and with traffic it can take longer (the downfall on seeing/dating guys without a car) so I didn't want to drive all the way to him just for an hour or so. We ended up leaving our conversation with “let’s reschedule", so do I call or text him or should I wait for him to contact me? Anyway...not sure what to do, again this scene is new for me and I guess at 26 I'm just testing the dating waters...Good luck Jammers!

Nine Eleven: Ten years later

For some moments in life there are no words. 9/11/2001 will never be forgotten, my prayers are for the friends and family who lost someone they loved or cared about. Special thanks to the troops that keep me safe every day and allow me to live my life worry free. We all need to take time out of our day today and remember what happened 10 years ago and the reason why us as a nation need to stick together and live with Peace and Love in our hearts. Stop the hate and destruction and lets all promote acceptance and understanding. With all the death that was witnessed on this sad day in 2001, we all need to come together and help each other out. We need to be patient with each other, be understanding and open minded with one another. We all only have one life to live, why live it in pain with hate in out hearts. Lets all live, laugh and love. Be happy, smile, be kind, have an open heart, open your mind, and live a life full of peace and love.

Jar of Hearts

No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

You and I

It’s been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I’m back in town
This time I’m not leaving without you
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me, oh
I’d give anything again to be your baby doll
This time I’m not leaving without you

You said sit back down where you belong
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we
Made love the first time and you said to me

Something, something about this place
Something ‘bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah something about, baby, you and I

It`s been two years since I let you go,
I couldn’t listen to a joke or rock `n roll
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart
On my birthday you sang me a heart of gold
With a guitar humming and no clothes
This time I'm not leaving without you
Ooh-oh ooh-oh

Sit back down where you belong
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on
Sit back down on the couch where we
Made love the first time and you said to me

Something, something about this place
Something ‘bout lonely nights and my lipstick on your face
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy
Yeah something about, baby, you and I

You and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You, you and I, I
You and I
You, you and I
Oh yeah!
I'd rather die
Without you and I

C’mon!
Put your drinks up!

We got a whole lot of money, but we still pay rent
‘Cause you can’t buy a house in Heaven
There’s only three men that Imma serve my whole life
It’s my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Christ

Something, something about the chase
Six whole years
I'm a New York woman, born to run you down
So have my lipstick all over your face
Something, something about just knowing when it's right
So put your drinks up for Nebraska
For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love you

You and I
You, you and I
Baby, I rather die!
Without you and I

You and I
You, you and I
Nebraska, I rather die
Without you and I

It’s been a long time since I came around
Been a long time but I’m back in town
This time I’m not leaving without you.